Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Holiday Insanity, Like Whoa

Ssssoooooooooo, through a series of random and unplanned events, my silly little Elfin magic garnered 5,892 Facebook likes in about 9 hours.

Say what?

That is FIVE THOUSAND eight hundred and NINETY TWoooooooooooo.

That is beyond amazing, crazy, disturbing, weird, and frankly, terrifying!!

I got over 300 friend requests on my PERSONAL Facebook page. What?  I got many delightful and fun messages, yay!  I also got quite a few very er...unsavory messages. On my PERSONAL page.  Really?  Just.  I can't. No.

This isn't the level attention I was ever seeking - nor the level of attention I feel comfortable with for myself or my children.  I haven't blogged in a flingity flanging year, people! (an exact year, heh).  Did I mention I hated BlogHer because it overwhelmed me? I did.

This. Too much. I can't. No.

 I am up in the middle of the night in a panic flop sweat because yo, I wasn't really planning on DOING any naughty Elfies this year because I have two small children and I am tired and old, and doing the wrapping and the Christmas and the festive and the advent and the parties, and the WRAPPING (oh lawdy, the wrapping) and maybe some sleeping in there too? That seemed like plenty. And now I feel PRESSURE to do Elfies so that 5,892 people will be happy.  Only I don't want anyone to be happy except my kidlets on Christmas and barely paid any attention to my kidlets all day today because I was so busy sweating and watching Facebook.

Mom fail.

And the reality is - those Elfie pictures were just for fun - to make my friends laugh. But if I am all hivey and self conscious and hivey trying to make 5,903 (it just keeps going up holy crap) people laugh - they likely aren't going to be funny. I mean - my mind = blank.  All I could think of to do next in my panic brain was 2 Elves 1 cup. And then my mother in law might Google 2 Elves 1 cup and then all KINDS of weird shit will go down.

So, I'm shuttin' her down!  Pullin' the plug! Stopping the madness! Well, not totally - because oops, it is already out there, and oh Heyyyyy now, here is my blog I kind of didn't want to do anymore - how ya doing, BOING!

So. Here are the 17 Elfie pics. I am unbelievably flattered and tickled that so many people loved them!  They are kind of awesome. Heh.
Maybe if the mood hits, I might do some more! Maybe. I might even blog. Who knows.
I will post anything else here. 'Cause that Facebook page is getting the ax-ola asap. Because - hives.

 private dancer

human barbiepede

you lying ol' dirty birdy

I had a dream I danced the Black Swan

I wish I knew how to quit you.

dime bag

 o.d. elf

drinky poo

funnel elf

It puts the lotion in the basket.

rave on.


rock candy

fa la la la roofie

secret love


whippit good

That was bananas! All that over 17 pictures! Pshew.



kateypie35 said...

5, 914. Jesus on a pogo stick!

Anonymous said...

You, my dear, are awesome and witty and frankly brave! I hope you do do more elf pics because in this very very dark month of mine personally seeing the pics lightened my day. I am in a similar situation as you with the whole holiday jazzamerin. Add on to the two kids two dogs and moving and you have my days! Hope you continue being awesome and have a wonderful holiday

Anonymous said...

Please don't take it down. It brightened my day. I'm pretty sick and any smile makes a difference. Just post when you can. Delete and block any negatives. You're awesome!

HMM said...

omg.. you are totally creating a new FB record.. Most likes and shortest life span of a page ever!

Sorry I "bullied" you into it... but damn... I have to read so much SHIT on the internet... it was exciting to have some real humor! ;P

kateypie35 said...

6094. I mean, wow!!!

maggie said...

Aside from the hilarious poses, the lighting in your photography is amazing. So please try being a neglectful mother and continue to entertain us.

Molley@ A Mother Life said...

It all fun and games until the internet explodes :)
but you funny, clever and imaginative. Thanks for making us all laugh

Anonymous said...

U are so awesomely creative!

Rhymes with "Anxious" said...

These pictures are hilarious. If people don't like them, they don't have to look. Too funny, keep them coming!!

Anonymous said...

Did you know your content is being used here? http://littlewhitelion.com/inappropriate-elf-on-a-shelf-part-3-48563/

They have taken images from tons of people, and only seemed to link you thanks to your watermark. Still, if you didn't give them permission you should report them. They have no rights to take your images and repost them. My images were stolen several times with no links given as well.

Jen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Monkeylicious said...

Don't get hives hunni!
Hopefully everyone enjoyed the pics as much as I did & if you don't wanna do anymore......well he'll that's fine too!
Anymore you may do will be a hilarious bonus.
You just worry about your gorgeous Tiddlypeeps & Xmas for yourselves xxx